To feed on hope, to pine with feare and sorrow.
Monday, April 02, 2007

I should be updating my book list, in preparation for the book sales that are kicking off, but instead, I feel restless.

One, I’m worried about work, which I’m sure will pass. I’m doing good work, but one always worries that one is not good enough, or not as good as one was. It’s been very busy of late, so many troubles at once that need to be taken care of now.

Two, tomorrow is the big day. I’ve managed not to think of it over much for these past weeks, but now it’s…tomorrow. I can’t say that my life is going to change if the Chocolatier’s Wife makes it to the next level, because there are so many left to go. It’s sort of like the couple of times I had convinced myself that I would win the Lottery, and become very rich. I was sure that it would happen, that my life was going to change, because I needed it to so badly. I wanted it to, so badly. But I did not. (If I did this journal would be called Letters to the World and feature photos from every place I’d traveled.) In a way, since there were over 2,500 entries, it’s the same thing. Almost impossible. Silly to hope on it too much.

But I do. Because it’s the hope that one needs to keep us going. If I make it through the next level, I will still have hope. I will feed off of it and day dream and feel positive. If I don’t, I’ll be sad and a bit low and silly for the whole of the day, and then the next, I will shrug, and say, “Well, I can go on from here.”

And I can. But I still feel nervous.

PS...the above is an Edmund Spenser quote, one of the ones I have posted on my cubicle wall. The quote goes:

Full little knowest thou that hast not tride,
What hell it is in suing long to bide:
To loose good dayes, that might be better spent;
To wast long nights in pensive discontent;
To speed to-day, to be put back to-morrow;
To feed on hope, to pine with feare and sorrow.

Permalink Cindy scribed this at 10:08 PM 0 comments

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

11/01/2001 - 12/01/2001 03/01/2002 - 04/01/2002 04/01/2002 - 05/01/2002 05/01/2002 - 06/01/2002 06/01/2002 - 07/01/2002 07/01/2002 - 08/01/2002 08/01/2002 - 09/01/2002 09/01/2002 - 10/01/2002 12/01/2002 - 01/01/2003 01/01/2003 - 02/01/2003 02/01/2003 - 03/01/2003 03/01/2003 - 04/01/2003 04/01/2003 - 05/01/2003 05/01/2003 - 06/01/2003 06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003 07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003 08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003 09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003 10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003 11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003 12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004 01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007 04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007 12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008